Over the break I had a small, little party over my house. It was for one of my friend’s birthday, he just turned eighteen. So he brought a few of his friends over from Greeley and I had a few from around here come over. My parents even had a few of their own friends stop by so they didn’t get bored. It was also New Year’s Eve night, so we had another thing to celebrate along with his birthday.
I had all them come over around seven or so and just chilled out until everyone got there. At my house we had all kinds of food and drinks set up on our counter. For all being wrestlers, it was almost like heaven being able to pig out on all kinds of food and drinks. We didn’t have to worry about our weight, so it was good. On the table was boxes stacked up of pizza, subs all over, wings, and other little items of vegetables and fruit to munch on. After all of us got done eating we all went downstairs to play some pool. There was enough people there that we had a pool tournament and after that we played some foosball. My dad and one of his friends wont both the pool tournament and destroyed everyone in foosball. So we tried beating them in ping pong, and yet again still didn’t happen. So my dad and his friend had the bragging rights for the night.
After all of the competitions were done we all sat back and watched the ball drop. We celebrated the beginning of the new year with a drink (pop or Gatorade). It was a great night because I was able to be with my good friends and hung out with them. To just have a good time and not worry about anything else that is going on. To finish the night off, my friends and I went to the cemetery by my house. We didn’t go inside it, just along the street. We started to play with my oiju board to see if we could talk to any spirits. I know it kind of sounds dumb and stupid, but we thought we would be fun on New Year’s Eve, since we tried it before and it worked. Nothing really happened, but it was worth the try. This New Year’s Eve and my friends birthday was a good time to just kick back and have fun.
I had all them come over around seven or so and just chilled out until everyone got there. At my house we had all kinds of food and drinks set up on our counter. For all being wrestlers, it was almost like heaven being able to pig out on all kinds of food and drinks. We didn’t have to worry about our weight, so it was good. On the table was boxes stacked up of pizza, subs all over, wings, and other little items of vegetables and fruit to munch on. After all of us got done eating we all went downstairs to play some pool. There was enough people there that we had a pool tournament and after that we played some foosball. My dad and one of his friends wont both the pool tournament and destroyed everyone in foosball. So we tried beating them in ping pong, and yet again still didn’t happen. So my dad and his friend had the bragging rights for the night.
After all of the competitions were done we all sat back and watched the ball drop. We celebrated the beginning of the new year with a drink (pop or Gatorade). It was a great night because I was able to be with my good friends and hung out with them. To just have a good time and not worry about anything else that is going on. To finish the night off, my friends and I went to the cemetery by my house. We didn’t go inside it, just along the street. We started to play with my oiju board to see if we could talk to any spirits. I know it kind of sounds dumb and stupid, but we thought we would be fun on New Year’s Eve, since we tried it before and it worked. Nothing really happened, but it was worth the try. This New Year’s Eve and my friends birthday was a good time to just kick back and have fun.
You did a good job with your writing by specifying that when celebrating new year's with a drink; that it was pop or gatorade. You also did good at describing what it was like to eat a lot without having to worry about your weight. I think that you could improve your writing by not starting as many sentences with "so". The first sentence was odd because small and little are synonyms. Becuase of your story I want to eat.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was funny how you pointed out that you didn't need to watch your weight because your a wrestler, but danny (who is goin out with my cousin) didn't eat that much on new years. I did see some spelling errors in your wrighting. I liked how you played with the oiju board, i would say your best luck would be on halloween because the spirits are partying too on New Years.
ReplyDeleteGood job, I thought it was a very entertaining story. I liked how you added alot of details about what you all did. Next time you could maybe improve on editing and spelling, but over all it was good.
ReplyDeleteBrandon: I hope that you understand now how to post your essay to your blog. I did like your essay, but it was a little dry. I felt like your sentences were all the smae length and that you could focus on word choice. Try to proof read your next essay aloud to find these small problems.
ReplyDeleteAudience and Purpose: 3
Format: 3
Total 40/50 80%